so I'm 23.
how does it feel? I don't know. but I do feel different. mum said I've changed. for the better? I hope so.
I've become more aware of my relationships with people, of my relationship with myself.
I'm not 18 anymore and overly excited that I've made new friends. I don't run around anymore and scream "I love everyone!"
Because I learned, people don't care just because you do. Just because there's so much you would do for a person and feel so much for a person, doesn't mean they'll make time for you in their day. Is it upsetting? sure. then I realized it's a repeating pattern with multiple people. People can't make it to the engagement that you have set up/were looking forward to: they're at work, it's too far, someone else is engaging them, errands to run, running late - really late, oh it was today?
So I'm learning how to pull myself out if this love-zone I had created with everyone. I think it's time I focused on my own needs. Because at the end of the day (aside from mum, Pa, and sis) I'm the one that I don't want to disappoint.
So carry on. Carry on with your day and your errands and your work and your dates. I am no longer attached to you for my happiness. For every person who disappoints you there will be three who will surprise you. Show up at your engagement just to see you (and bring you gifts!!) So don't let those people down. Tell them thanks. ♥
And work on yourself first. Be the person that you want to be who will satisfy all your needs.
But the last one I had who was getting my hopes up
I might've been a little fast to dismiss
I think he let me down, when he didn't disappoint me
He didn't always guess right, but he usually got my gist
-Thanks Fiona!
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