Guelph

Last weekend I went to visit Chyna Doll in her current home town. Ashamed that it took me so long to go, but I went! Fell sleep on the bus ride (after an open shift) and woke up just in time when we arrived in Guelph! I woke myself up with a loud snore, my body is in sync with my schedule. we walked through the University of Guelph for a bit and saw the beautiful spring trees - I wish it was May 12 months a year. we also encountered a strange brown animal with the body shape of a beaver but without a flat tale (ground hog?) he was amidst a field of dandelions and he was munching on the flowers like there was no tomorrow.
We passed the evening with a bottle of wine, ate the many many containers of snacks Chyna Doll had prepared, watched On Stranger Tides, and wished we were pirates. I had a Boston Cream after 3 years, and remembered why it has been three years! I want good donuts :( 


Guelph is filled with cute little second hand stores: clothing, antique furniture, books. You can have brunch/coffee at the Red Brick Cafe and just go from store to store.

we also discovered the snack isle at the Asian Supermarket while waiting for the bus back to Toronto. it was, amazing. I didn't have any change so Chyna Doll treated me a $.99 box of chocolate Pocky. Next time I'm taking $20.00 and a huge bag. If anything survives the bus ride, you may get a little treat from me next time.

it's good to be the baby of the family.

I got spoiled this year. I have the best sister - ever. I obvis don't deserve her, but I'm selfish so I'm going to keep her. thank you for everything! -the makeup, the cookies, the body wash, the food, the flowers!! 

I love you more than anything or anyone. 

-p.s. your fat cat just deposited a mouse outside the door.

ex oh.

  

                                       

We get old all at once - And it comes like a punch In the gut, in the back, in the face

so I'm 23.
how does it feel? I don't know. but I do feel different. mum said I've changed. for the better? I hope so.
I've become more aware of my relationships with people, of my relationship with myself.
I'm not 18 anymore and overly excited that I've made new friends. I don't run around anymore and scream "I love everyone!"
Because I learned, people don't care just because you do. Just because there's so much you would do for a person and feel so much for a person, doesn't mean they'll make time for you in their day. Is it upsetting? sure. then I realized it's a repeating pattern with multiple people. People can't make it to the engagement that you have set up/were looking forward to: they're at work, it's too far, someone else is engaging them, errands to run, running late - really late, oh it was today?
So I'm learning how to pull myself out if this love-zone I had created with everyone. I think it's time I focused on my own needs. Because at the end of the day (aside from mum, Pa, and sis) I'm the one that I don't want to disappoint.
So carry on. Carry on with your day and your errands and your work and your dates. I am no longer attached to you for my happiness. For every person who disappoints you there will be three who will surprise you. Show up at your engagement just to see you (and bring you gifts!!) So don't let those people down. Tell them thanks. ♥
And work on yourself first. Be the person that you want to be who will satisfy all your needs.

But the last one I had who was getting my hopes up
I might've been a little fast to dismiss
I think he let me down, when he didn't disappoint me
He didn't always guess right, but he usually got my gist
-Thanks Fiona!